So I've wondered a lot in the past few days whether I might have some form of AD(H)S and I wonder how I might find out about that? Any input appreciated.
I've noticed lately that it is incredibly hard for me to stay focused on other people in social situations. I very, very frequently will look at my phone and distract myself when I'm in a group of people. I've never considered #ADHS so far because I can be very focused on other things though, like playing video games.
I've always multitasked a lot. I remember that chatting with me for longer periods of time usually ended up in me browsing the net on the side and taking really long for replies. Waiting around for someone to reply is very tiresome for me. Even when phoning or skyping with someone, I often distract myself with other things and can't very well focus on what the other person is saying. Like, I'm *bad* at multitasking, but I do it all the time still.
I found it notoriously difficult to follow lectures at uni and always did something on the side, like surfing the net.
Yet I did finish my M.Sc. in Computern Science as the best of my year. I was able to study well. Which is one of the main reasons why this somehow never seemed to fit for me, I have two close friends who were diagnosed with #ADHS as kids and who really need their meds to be able to do well.
Then again, I'm also gifted (as a kid my parents took me to an IQ test, was >130).
I'm currently slogging along in my PhD because reading scientific papers and focusing on what is said there, as well as getting ideas of my own, is incredibly difficult for me. Heck, I mostly stopped reading books in puberty.
My brain feels like it basically wants to be rewarded much more quickly, and without those rewards I get distracted very easily. I've blamed video games conditioning me this way, but dunno if that is even realistic.
Could this be #ADHS? Or some other condition? Any input?
Also, it's hard for me to seek professional diagnosis because I am *already* in psychotherapy for being trans, and will start the appropriate hormone treatment soon.
I'm afraid of bringing this up with my therapist because they're rather trans-focused, not a specialist on #ADHS. And I can't seek another therapist without having to privately pay them (aka shitton of money) while I'm still with this therapist.
So I'm looking for #selfdx help at the moment, as well as input from people with #ADHS
@natanji i didn't offer anything because it looks like you're getting plenty of good advice, but I DID have to Google ADHS :)
@naga Still, feel free to offer yours as well!
@natanji oh, I don't have it. I was just going to offer other possibilities with similar effects, but the later discussion sounds very much like ADD
@naga I feel mostly like caffeine doesn't do much for me, at least during the times where I drank high-caffeine drinks like Club Mate regularly... I never had much shakiness from it, like other people describe. And never understood how some folks might have trouble falling asleep when they are on caffeine
@natanji Yep, that's entirely consistent with ADD.
@natanji My wife has adult ADD and it's much like you describe. She has an optimal level of distraction to actually be able to do the thing she wants to.
@naga Wait, an optimal level of distraction? Like, some distraction is good and then she can be productive? Like only. working with music playing or so?
@natanji Exactly. Sort of like your fiddling with your phone at a social event. Or in her case needing conversation or NPR while driving, which occupies the "oh, squirrel!" part of her brain and she has just the right amount of attention left to be a good driver.
Without that optimized level, *something* will catch her attention and possibly increase the risk in driving.
@naga I'd very much like the other suggestions too, because I'm afraid of becoming too focused on ADD, so please share other ideas you have! :)
@natanji (adults are less likely to have the 'H'). One question that might help: what happens when you drink caffeine? The ADD brain often reacts differently from NT.